“I didn’t choose that one because it was going to give me pimples so I choosed, um… Another scary one…”
So, I really needed something light-hearted after last night’s post. So I decided to steal my wife’s idea and write about my family’s excessive need to quote movies. What a lesson for [her] I hope [she] will profit from it. It is so bad my brother calls it “The Deardeuff Brain Damage,” and I say “I-Am-DB” (in reference to IMDB.com - a publication which I have enjoyed for many years).
We have seen a lot of movies in our day. But the thing is, I think we have seen less than the average American Joe. We were raised on the classics. I am talking about Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers (”BEE! THE STINGING INSECT! BZZZZ,” “Your wife is safe with Tonetti: He prefer spaghetti”, “I am a fool - take a chance,” “Pining? Men don’t pine. Girls pine. Men just… suffer.” ), Gene Kelly (”See your dentist twice a year!” “Big people have little humor and little people have no humor at all”), Cary Grant (ooh, he has a lot like “Heroine! Peppermint flavored heroine!,” “The last person to say that to me was Archy Leach before he died” “She’s old isn’t she?” “Mellow greetings, yookie dookie.”), and Abbott and Costello (”Ca-lubhouse!”, “Pretty soon she’ll pass me up!” “Third base”).
We have also branched out to the modern world: Lion King (”Who’s got a scar?”), National Treasure (”Albuquerque!” hey! I spelled it right!), Chicken Little (”I’m a gutless flip-flopper”), and Meet the Robinsons (”Dude, I can’t take you seriously in that hat,” “Little Doris now sleeps with the fishes,” “Excellent”).
Oh and another thing, we don’t let on that we’re quoting, we just put the quote into a normal paragraph and allow our audience to pinpoint the reference. Yeah, weird. My brother, the brain damage one, is really good at it and he talks really fast too. I wonder what he does around the less cultured.
I am excessively fond of a cottage. There I wanted to put that one in the post, but I didn’t know how to fit it in. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for ‘em.
If there is tension at home, I’ll say to my wife “Short-roots” and she’ll respond back with “Evergreen” and the tension is gone.
I should stop. But I don’t really know how to do that. And… I don’t really need a duck…
Footnotes